01
A Shift in How Grooms Give

From Material-First to Meaning-First

Traditional groomsmen gifts used to be material-first: watches, bottle openers, cufflinks. Nice enough on their own, but gone from memory before the honeymoon is over. Today's groom is thinking differently — focused on meaningful impact over material items.

  • Traditional gifts like watches and flasks have their place — but they don't say you.
  • Letters allow grooms to acknowledge friendships, share gratitude, and express emotion in a way no object can.
  • It's not "less" of a gift — it's more personal, more lasting, more real.
  • A handwritten note is the one thing your groomsmen will keep. Not in a drawer — on purpose.

The shift makes sense. We live in an age of personalization. The same grooms booking barbers for the suite and custom bourbon toasts are the ones choosing to show up emotionally for the people who showed up for them.

02
What to Write

Not a Writer? No Problem.

The most common reason grooms skip this is "I wouldn't know what to say." Here's the truth: you don't need to. You just need a structure. Use this and fill in the blanks with your voice — whether that's bro or heartfelt, casual or sentimental.

  1. 1
    Opening Line
    A casual "Bro…" or heartfelt "Hey [Name]," — whatever fits your voice. Don't overthink it. The first line just needs to sound like you talking to them.
  2. 2
    A Shared Memory
    Pull one specific thing. "I'll never forget that night in college…" or "Remember when we…" Specificity is everything here. Generic gratitude lands nowhere. A real memory lands forever.
  3. 3
    A Thank-You
    Acknowledge what they've done for you — then and now. For showing up, for being consistent, for being the kind of friend worth standing next to at an altar.
  4. 4
    A Personal Note
    Something just for them. A quirk, a trait, a story only the two of you know. This is the line they'll re-read ten years from now and immediately hear your voice.
  5. 5
    A Future Wish
    Let them know you're grateful they're part of this next chapter. You don't have to be poetic. You just have to mean it.
📷
Optional Add-On Pair the letter with something small and personal — a photo from a shared memory, a cigar, a single-malt they've mentioned wanting to try. The letter is the gift. The extras make the moment.
03
Why It Hits Harder

Why It Hits Harder Than Any Gift Bag

A monogrammed flask gets used twice. A letter gets kept. That's not a guess — that's what grooms report back months and years later when they're talking about what stood out on their wedding day.

  • Letters can be read again and again — long after the wedding. Objects can't do that.
  • They create a quiet, emotional moment in the middle of an otherwise loud, chaotic morning.
  • They give your groomsmen a story to tell — and often, tears to wipe when no one's looking.
I've kept the letter from my best man in my sock drawer for 8 years. I still read it before anything important.
— A Doorbell Barbers Client, 2017

That's the thing about a handwritten letter. It has a physical presence. It carries weight — literally and emotionally — in a way a text or a venmo note never will. It sits in a sock drawer or a box under the bed and waits for the moment you need it most.

04
Document the Moment

Tell Your Photographer This Is Happening

The moment your groomsmen read their letters is one of the most candid, emotionally raw moments of the entire wedding day — and it's almost always unplanned. Make it planned.

  • Have your photographer capture the moment each groomsman reads his letter. These images are different from every other shot of the day.
  • It's one of the most emotional, unscripted moments your photographer will ever capture.
  • Time it right: hand out letters just before grooming begins or while everyone is getting dressed. The chaos of the morning is already at its peak — lean into it.

The best wedding photographs aren't the posed ones. They're the ones taken when someone is reading a letter they weren't expecting to hit that hard.

Final Thought

Give Them Their Flowers,
In Your Words

Your boys showed up. For years. For your relationship. For the late nights, the hard conversations, the moves, the breakups, and now this — standing next to you at an altar.

A letter doesn't just say "thanks for being here." It says you matter to me in a way that a whiskey glass or a money clip never will. It says I sat down, I thought about you specifically, and I wrote something that only you would understand.

That's a gift no one throws in a drawer.